Three years have passed since I first heard Misty Edwards sing that line from Dove's Eyes but today it pierced my heart.
"Do I really believe you move at the sound of my voice?" I asked the Lord.
I'm not always so sure that I do. Lately its felt like my prayers are bouncing off the ceiling rather than penetrating the heavens.
"Do I really move the God of All?" I wondered.
Did you know Americans are amongst the slowest in the world to respond to their baby's cry? This is something I've learned since living in Israel, where total strangers will tell you to nurse your crying baby! In America, the delay is related to our cultural value of individualism. Leaving a baby cry is thought to help it foster self-reliance and independence; although, there is a body of research which indicates that a prompt response actually promotes a healthier sense of confidence in a child, long term.
In the six months that I've been mothering Aviel, as I've prayerfully taken in this information, as well as the chutzpah from fellow bus riders, the Lord has convicted me to be highly responsive to his sweet voice - and this has become a mission for me. When he cries, I do my best to soothe him. I want him to trust that when he calls, I'll answer. I want him to have a strong sense of security that I hear his voice....
that I hear his voice...
that I hear his voice... and respond.
Then the revelation hit:
I move at the sound of Aviel's voice.
All this time I have been wondering why this was so heavy on my heart. My assumption has been that it was all about growing a healthy Aviel; that there must be something about his character and personality that I would need to nurture through being responsive to his cry. I believe this to be true, but what surprised me is that the Lord also wanted to do a work of healing in me through this process. I went into the journey of parenting expecting the Lord to do a work of sanctification in my life, as I learn to selflessly care for my child at all hours of the day and night. But a work of knowing Him more intimately, healing doubts that he hears and answers my prayers, this is where I am awed and amazed by His goodness.
If my love for Aviel prompts me to move at the sound of his voice, how much greater does the Lord, whose love is perfect, move at the sound of my voice.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear... 1 John 4:18
And the Lord uses my little one to draw me to Himself.
I believe You are listening... I believe that You move at the sound of my voice...
Something Special Part 3 (Aviel's Birth Story)
Binding the Vanity of Creativity